In working with thousands of entrepreneurs and investors, one thing has become really clear to me about why so many never take the actions necessary to improve their lives, build wealth, and create the life they constantly dream about.
It comes down to this: most people are afraid to fail, so they never start to begin with.
Sadly, the concept of “failure” has become the other side of the success coin — in other words, you’re either a success, or you’re a failure. In reality, this isn’t true at all.
Holding this belief that failure is bad and something to avoid is what really keeps most people from ever becoming a success — and something that you must overcome.
If fear is holding you back right now from taking the leap and going after something that you really want, here’s a different way to look at it .. and how to change your perspective so that you can put that fear behind you.
For anyone that has accomplished significant things in their life, they’ve learned (the hard way) that failure isn’t something you avoid on the way to success .. it’s something you endure until you succeed.
In other words, failure is a necessary part of creating success!
Look at almost any hugely successful person .. and dig deeper into their past, you’ll often find that they had to ensure many failures in order to finally achieve the success.
Here are just a few examples of some incredibly successful people — and the failures they had on the way there:
- Michael Jordan, the world’s greatest-ever basketball player, was cut from his high school basketball team.
- Walt Disney, perhaps the greatest creative mind the world has seen, was fired from his newspaper job because he “lacked creativity”.
- Thomas Edison failed almost 10,000 times before finally figuring out how to combined elements to invent the light bulb.
You learn 100 times more from your failures than you do your successes.
Think about it. Reflect back in your own life when everything changed for you. That things shifted, and a light switch changed inside you. When something like this happens in your life, I call that a “Moment of Truth“. From that point forward, you never think the same way again. You’ll find that most of those moments were times when you faced some kind of failure. The moment you realized your relationship had failed. A time when you felt like a complete financial failure. A situation that made you realize you had made a terrible decision. So, while most people spend their lives avoiding failure, they don’t realize that they’re also avoiding the most powerful learning opportunities in their life. In the past, I’ve found myself following this path as well, and early on, I made a conscious decision to force myself through the fear of failure. I realized that in order to create anything exciting and significant, I would have to take that risk on as a part of the deal. Over the years, I’ve been blessed to create a lot of successes in my businesses and my life. However, like anyone else, I’m not perfect and I’ve had my share of failures as well. For me, the failures that hurt the most are the ones that affect others. As a real estate investor, I’ve been involved in hundreds of real estate deals over the years, and many of them involved investment partners. While many turned out very well for the investors, we had our share of challenges and problems when the massive economic crisis hit in 2008 and cut a damaging path through the investment world. When one of our investments could not sustain the economic collapse and failed, it was one of the most traumatic and devastating experiences I’ve had in my life. We were dealing with real people and real money, and the hardest part was knowing that we had let people down. While most of the investors recognized that we had done everything to avoid a loss, we held ourselves accountable and remained transparent and accessible through the process. We still deal with the emotion and sadness from this failure on a daily basis, and what I take from this experience most is what I learned about myself, and about my business partner Kourosh. In the face of massive pressure and challenge, we remained focused on trying to solve the problem. We never felt sorry for ourselves, and we didn’t duck and hide to avoid having to share difficult conversations with investors. We did everything in our power to avoid a failure, and it wasn’t enough. It would have been easy to just give up, and stop answering the phone. That’s what most people do when things get tough – they avoid the situation. We chose not to do that, and in hindsight, I think it was a powerful lesson for us about doing the right thing. It wasn’t easy, but it was truly what we had to do. That failure taught me about my character, and who I really am. While I still feel terrible about things not going as planned, that experience not only made me a better investor, but also a better human being. It made me recognize how important my family is to me, and that the sun will rise tomorrow, no matter how bad things might seem today.When you face a failure in your life, the most important thing you MUST do is look for the lesson in the failure.
The ONLY failure you can incur is when you fail to learn a lesson from your experience. No matter what kind of failure you have, if you learn the lessons and take them to heart so you never make the mistakes again, you’re better off in your life. On the other hand, if you let that failure get you down and you DON’T learn from it, that failure will become the legacy you leave behind.
The best way to sum up my thoughts is a quote from one of my all-time favorite movies, Braveheart:
21 Responses
It's amazing to see that even the smartest and most successful people I respect are not perfect and have challenges. Thank you for sharing this and reminding me that we all have the power in us; it is up to us to decide whether we use it or make excuses. Very powerful message, thank you!!
It's amazing to see that even the smartest and most successful people I respect are not perfect and have challenges. Thank you for sharing this and reminding me that we all have the power in us; it is up to us to decide whether we use it or make excuses. Very powerful message, thank you!!
I like to continue to be reminded about how to use failures. The analogy that has worked for me is to think about learning to play an instrument. You can't pick it up, read about it and expect to be a good musician in the first few tries. The more you play and screw up the faster you learn. When I try something new, I like to say I'll give myself a month (or appropriate time limit) without any negative evaluation, work hard at it and then look at how I've progressed at the end of that time to determine if I want to continue.
Also, can appreciate the pain and disappointment of recent real estate venture, as I felt as an investor, but recognize you did everything in your control to try to make it succeed and it was the piece that was not in your control (screwed up economy) that caused the ultimate disaster. I'm counting on this failure to make me a better real estate investor.
I like to continue to be reminded about how to use failures. The analogy that has worked for me is to think about learning to play an instrument. You can't pick it up, read about it and expect to be a good musician in the first few tries. The more you play and screw up the faster you learn. When I try something new, I like to say I'll give myself a month (or appropriate time limit) without any negative evaluation, work hard at it and then look at how I've progressed at the end of that time to determine if I want to continue.
Also, can appreciate the pain and disappointment of recent real estate venture, as I felt as an investor, but recognize you did everything in your control to try to make it succeed and it was the piece that was not in your control (screwed up economy) that caused the ultimate disaster. I'm counting on this failure to make me a better real estate investor.
Greg-As mentioned in my book Time-Out! There are no failures, just obstacles on the way to success or simply challenges on your way to see if you are truly committed to your goals and dreams. As I mention throughout my book, taking RISKS is the only way to capture what you currently don’t have. Great insight and I agree that the Fear of Failure is one of the eight most common dreamstealers. Embrace Risk, Embrace Success- Tom
Greg-As mentioned in my book Time-Out! There are no failures, just obstacles on the way to success or simply challenges on your way to see if you are truly committed to your goals and dreams. As I mention throughout my book, taking RISKS is the only way to capture what you currently don’t have. Great insight and I agree that the Fear of Failure is one of the eight most common dreamstealers. Embrace Risk, Embrace Success- Tom
I have suffered from fear of failure, and been paralyzed by it. For years Failure was dancing partner and it was in the lead, until I decided to take control. I still dance with failure, almost daily, but I am now leading, risking I might fail, but knowing when I do, as you so adeptly point out, it will lead to success. The greatest lessons I have learned from facing failure down and leading the dance, is that I am stronger than I ever imagined. And I can do it all with grace. Still failing and still succeeding.
I have suffered from fear of failure, and been paralyzed by it. For years Failure was dancing partner and it was in the lead, until I decided to take control. I still dance with failure, almost daily, but I am now leading, risking I might fail, but knowing when I do, as you so adeptly point out, it will lead to success. The greatest lessons I have learned from facing failure down and leading the dance, is that I am stronger than I ever imagined. And I can do it all with grace. Still failing and still succeeding.
Indeed, when we focus on our fears, we give them the breath of life. It is just as simple to breathe life into the reasons why “it will work,” “it will happen,”I can do it”. We all get caught up in the trap of fear from time to time, and it’s okay. It takes practice to recognize its existence, and then give way to new thoughts that will melt the fear away. Talk to a mentor, talk to a friend, or read blogs such as the one Greg offers here, and you will have a steady stream of positive ammunition to blow your fears away.
Indeed, when we focus on our fears, we give them the breath of life. It is just as simple to breathe life into the reasons why “it will work,” “it will happen,”I can do it”. We all get caught up in the trap of fear from time to time, and it’s okay. It takes practice to recognize its existence, and then give way to new thoughts that will melt the fear away. Talk to a mentor, talk to a friend, or read blogs such as the one Greg offers here, and you will have a steady stream of positive ammunition to blow your fears away.
Fear is just another obstacle to our growth and when we fall… at least in falling forward we make progress…
See you in Edmonton on Oct 19th Greg
Fear is just another obstacle to our growth and when we fall… at least in falling forward we make progress…
See you in Edmonton on Oct 19th Greg
Thanks Greg, I feel inspired and choose to go for what I believe. Time to take Action.
Thanks Greg, I feel inspired and choose to go for what I believe. Time to take Action.
“Fear” is the one thing we need to face in order to be fearless! Step out of the comfort zone, make mistakes, and keep going as many have done before us. Well said Greg!
“Fear” is the one thing we need to face in order to be fearless! Step out of the comfort zone, make mistakes, and keep going as many have done before us. Well said Greg!
Just got round to reading this blog.
How true and how apt. Many times have learned from my failures. thankfully not to the detriment of the client, so much as to my own detriment. Though of course sometimes have unintentionally hurt others by lack of mindfulness.
So often it is our 'behavior' or the 'way' in which we express ourselves that can lead to failure of loss of credibility which in turn loses us custom.
Just got round to reading this blog.
How true and how apt. Many times have learned from my failures. thankfully not to the detriment of the client, so much as to my own detriment. Though of course sometimes have unintentionally hurt others by lack of mindfulness.
So often it is our 'behavior' or the 'way' in which we express ourselves that can lead to failure of loss of credibility which in turn loses us custom.
I think an even harder level is when you put in a lot of consistent effort over the years, try different things and still aren’t able to sell much.
I’ve been selling online guitar lessons for years. My videos on youtube have over 1 million views, I have lessons/courses for purchase, a membership site, a Facebook page, twitter, blog and haven’t been able to get that many sales. I even sell related affiliate products that are selling well for the owner.
While I have learned a lot, if there’s a lesson in how to get a lot of sales I am still struggling to figure out what it is.
I think an even harder level is when you put in a lot of consistent effort over the years, try different things and still aren’t able to sell much.
I’ve been selling online guitar lessons for years. My videos on youtube have over 1 million views, I have lessons/courses for purchase, a membership site, a Facebook page, twitter, blog and haven’t been able to get that many sales. I even sell related affiliate products that are selling well for the owner.
While I have learned a lot, if there’s a lesson in how to get a lot of sales I am still struggling to figure out what it is.